Saturday, June 30, 2012

C.N. - chapter 26

'...and that was the library.' Mr. Dragon concluded, and we exited the oak doors of the library. 'Where do you say we ought to head to next?' He asked.
'I think you've showed me everything.' I remarked. Mr. Dragon had an excellent home, it had everything from a theater to a scientific lavatory which we did not go into, I hope Theo and Heathcliff get a chance to go on this tour like I just did. We came into the game room where the chess board was still set at our sixth game.
'Quite right I have, what do you say we go back to the kitchen and fix ourselves-' He didn't get to finish.
Wolfgang stormed in through the doors with a red face, clenched fists and fury in his eyes. He looked like a bull at a Texan rodeo. The doors were pushed aside with so much force the sound was like a thunder strike.
'CLARK! CLARK GABLE!' Wolfgang yelled and ripped open his dress shirt, probably in anger.
'Where?' I asked and frantically looked around for any sign of Clark Gable, I didn't see him.
'WELL WHAT THE HELL IS IT BOY!' Mr. Dragon roared in a equally loud and furious voice, just like a dragon, 'DO YOU NOT SEE THAT WE HAVE A GUEST WITH US! SHOUTING MY NAME AROUND THIS PLACE LIKE A MAD MAN! WHAT GOTTEN INTO YOU IN THE TIME I WAS AWAY!'
I was at a loss for words. Mr. Dragon's name was...Clark??? Clark Gable??? THE Clark Gable???
'YOU LISTEN TO ME CLARK! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE HELL'S GOTTEN INTO ME! I'LL TELL YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!' Wolfgang's chest heaved and his fists clenched and unclenched, he was roaring, just like a tiger, 'FIRST YOU DESERTED ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST! THEN YOU SUDDENLY COME BACK INTO MY LIFE, PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED AND TRY TO BOSS ME AROUND! AND NOW I FOUND OUT YOU LIED! YOU LIED TO ME FROM THE BEGINNING YOU SON OF A-'
'Beep.' I said, I covered my ears.
'YOU SHUT UP YOU STUPID FARM BOY!' Wolfgang screamed and made me shut up entirely, I think it was the voice that did it, not the 'stupid farm boy', which I didn't mind. He turned back to Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon (still could not believe that) and continued his yelling, 'ALL MY LIFE...(holding back tears, I think) ALL MY LIFE YOU TOLD ME MOTHER DIED GIVING BIRTH TO ME! WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO GET AT!? MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BEING BORN!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED!? IS IT!?'
'WHO TOLD YOU THAT NONSENSE, BOY! STOP THIS RAVING THIS INSTANT!' Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon roared. And just then, I think the answer to his question came through the door, in the form of Theo and Heathcliff, both panicking at the sight of Wolfgang and his dad in a shouting match between tiger and dragon. That aside, I was genuinely surprised, a man past his mid-age, one like Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon (despite the six-pack) who can shout at this thunderous volume is an astonishing sight to behold.
'THIS DID!' Wolfgang threw a notebook into the ground with such force it landed with a splat. 'READ IT YOURSELF YOU OLD FART!' Clark Gable/ Mr. Dragon seemed to have recognized the notebook.
'I thought I ordered that thrown away.' Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon whispered, Wolfgang heard it.
'HA! YOU ADMIT IT! YOU DO! IT'S ALL TRUE! YOU LIED TO ME, YOU LIED TO ME RIGHT FROM THE START! I HATE YOU!' Wolfgang screamed at the top of his capability, his voice cracked, and tears came out.
'Damn,' Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon whispered and then added, 'Damn that housekeeper Phil, must have thought my wife's diary is a soap novel and kept it, damn that Phil.' He turned his bloodshot eyes on Theo and Heathcliff, 'Damn you too.'
Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon took his hand from behind his coat, he was holding a shiny silver pistol and raised it at Theo or Heathcliff, or them both. This took place in a matter of seconds.
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Heathcliff and Wolfgang yelled simultaneously, but Wolfgang acted faster and moved in front of Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon just as he pulled the trigger, it was just like in an action-adventure movie, everything happened in slow-motion.
Wolfgang fell with a cry, Theo covered her mouth in horror, Heathcliff said, 'Mamma mia!', the sound of machinegun fire and shouting was heard outside the door, a commotion taking place, and Clark Gable/Mr. Dragon placed the barrel of his pistol firmly against my skull. He was cool as a cucumber.
With the calm and collected voice of Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs, he said, 'Alright, everybody, we have a hostage situation, so sit back, and enjoy.'

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