Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Year, New Intermission Chapter

   “You know what?” Theo asked. “We haven’t been seen a lot lately.”
   She, as well as Charlie, Wolfgang, Heathcliff, and Dennis were sitting inside of a stereotypical actor’s movie trailer. They had been unexpectedly transported after the latest events in their story. After they had adjusted to their new surroundings, Theo had explained the whole “we’re controlled by authors” and “this is a parallel universe” thing to Dennis who had never been in the situation before (as well as to the others, who had mostly forgotten). Now they were comfortably lounging around the trailer. Theo was perched on the wooden coffee table, her right leg crossed over the other. Dennis and Heathcliff were sitting on the couch beside her, Dennis completely lax against the cushions while Heathcliff hovered closer to the edge of his seat. Wolfgang leaned against the window across from them, his arms crossed. Charlie was sitting on the floor cross-legged, all despite the protests of the others and them offering him a chair. 
   “What do you mean, haven’t been seen a lot?” asked Charlie. 
   “Well, I feel like there’s been…longer pauses in our appearances. In the story I mean.”
   “How is that even possible?” asked Dennis. “Time’s been passing at the same rate as always.”
   “For us maybe,” said Theo, “but I can imagine that there have been longer pauses for the authors. Haven’t you felt that weird lag?” 
   “Huh, I just thought that was a weird headache,” said Wolfgang. 
   “You’re probably right, Theo,” said Charlie. “I mean, there’s only been 10 chapters this past year, while in the past there’s been 20, even 70 done in a year.”
   There was a silence as the rest all looked at him in bewilderment. “How did you know that?” asked Theo.
   Charlie just shrugged. “It kind of just popped into my head.”
   “The authors must be planting information in our heads,” said Dennis. “If that’s even possible.”
   Heathcliff looked alarmed. “Does that mean they know everything that I think? That they control everything I say?”
   “We already went through this before, Heathcliff,” said Theo. 
   “We did?”
   “Yes, the first time this happened, we did.”
   There was another lull in the conversation as they shifted, trying to process the new information.
   “Since this is the most peace we’ve had in awhile, how about a game of rock paper scissors?” offered Charlie, holding out his hand. 
   Theo and Wolfgang cracked a smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard that,” said Wolfgang.
   “Definitely way too long,” replied Theo.
   “Anybody?” asked Charlie. 
   Dennis held out his hand, and he and Charlie played a few rounds. They tied a couple, and started alternating between wins and losses. Theo and Wolfgang watched bemusedly as the speed of the game picked up.
   “Well, that’s just unfair!” exclaimed Heathcliff. Everyone froze and looked up at him. Seeing that he had accidentally blurted out his thoughts, he coughed. “I mean, isn’t it unfair that we’re getting less attention than before? This is our lives that they’re dabbling with, our fates, our destinies!”
   “They have lives too,” pointed out Theo.
   “They could very well be just ignoring us,” said Dennis, retracting his hand held in ‘scissors’ from the game and sitting back into his seat. 
   “Or worse, they could be focusing on other writing projects! Abandoning us!” Heathcliff bemoaned. 
   “There were those other characters we met before,” Theo said. “And they did mention that they came from the other stories the authors created…”
   Heathcliff threw his arms into the air. “See!” 
   There was a collective silence in the trailer.
   Charlie, with his hand still in ‘paper’ said, “Well, wouldn’t most people make a formal complaint or something? If you can’t use actions, use words, right?”
   “Like what?” asked Wolfgang.
   “A letter would be suitable in this situation, I think,” said Charlie.
   “But can’t they just read our thoughts?” asked Heathcliff.
   Charlie just tilted his head. “It’s nice to have a formality like a letter, even if they can read our thoughts.”
   Theo looked around the room. “Well, that would be great, but only if we had the supplies to actually write a letter.”
   There was a knock on the door, and everyone straightened up, alarmed. Charlie finally dropped his hand.
   “Who’s there?” called out Wolfgang. There was no reply. 
   “If it’s something dangerous, I’ll protect Theo!” exclaimed Heathcliff, immediately standing up as if he was going to rush over to her.
   She stood up. “No need, Heathcliff. If my suspicions are correct, I know exactly what that was.” She walked over to the door and the others scrambled up to their feet. With the others hovering close behind her, she slowly opened the door. 
   On the metal steps was a pile of white paper and a blue ballpoint pen. Theo picked it up, wondering why the authors really had to make a show of giving stuff to them.
   As she stood back up, she noticed that outside of the trailer beyond the steps was pure nothingness. It was a complete white blank, for lack of a better description. If the void was inversely coloured, this is what it would’ve looked like.
   “They didn’t even bother with an outside setting,” Theo shook her head. She shut the door behind her, facing the apprehensive faces of the others. 
   “So?” asked Dennis. “What is it?”
   Theo held out the paper and pen. “Stuff to write a letter with.”
   The guys all sighed in relief. They made their way back to their seats. Theo pulled up a chair next to the coffee table and set the pen and paper down. She sat down, picked up the pen, and started writing. Dennis stood up and peered over her shoulder.
   “To K and G,” he recited as she wrote, “this is a formal complaint issued by the characters of your novel. Our general feeling is that we are being neglected, which is duly your responsibility as the creators of our universe. We also have individual complaints.”
   Dennis looked at Theo. “Isn’t this…overly formal?” he asked.
   Theo looked up at him. “If we’re writing a formal complaint, we should be formal. And if you could stop breathing down my neck, that would be great.”
   Dennis complied. “Speaking of individual complaints, could I state mine first?” 
   “Sure.”
   Dennis cleared his throat. “I, Dennis North, have been feeling sorely underdeveloped and neglected. You have placed me into the protective and reliable older brother role, having to take care of this troublesome bunch. I would like it very much if, in return for me performing this role, you could reveal a tragic backstory and add in a love interest, maybe a girl with brown hair and blue eyes and a much nicer personality than Theo’s-“
   “And I’m stopping you there,” said Theo, raising an eyebrow at Dennis. He sat back down on the couch. 
   She turned to Heathcliff. “Heathcliff, anything?”
   He opened his mouth, and Theo cut him off before he could even say anything. “Keep it short, ok?” she warned. 
   “Of course my darling,” he said. “As Heathcliff Carolus von Curtis the third, I feel as though everyone, all of your esteemed audience, would thoroughly enjoy more of my grand presence in their lives. For my humble sake and theirs, I wish wholeheartedly that you plan out a happy end for all of us, where I get to marry my darling Theo-“
   Theo threw the pen at Heathcliff as she and Wolfgang both yelled “How many times do I have to tell you? I/Theo won’t marry you!”
   Dennis laughed as he picked up the pen from the couch and handed it back to Theo. She cleared her throat and tried regaining composure before accepting the pen. Heathcliff sulked on the couch, hugging the closest pillow tightly.
   “What about you, Wolfgang?” asked Theo.
   “Just for them to stop lagging so I can stop getting this weird headache every time we jump back into the story,” he said. He then grinned wickedly. “Well, there are some things I’d like to change about the story…”
   “I probably don’t want to hear this, and you probably don't want to see what my reaction would be.” Theo waved the pen at him.
   “Charlie, do you have anything to say?” asked Dennis. 
   Charlie sat back and stared up into space, pondering. “I’m satisfied with my role so far, I don’t have any complaints to make. You can put that in.”
   “You can’t just say that!” exclaimed Dennis. “There’s got to be something you’re unsatisfied with.” 
   Charlie pondered some more, and shook his head. 
   “Suit yourself,” said Wolfgang. 
   “Well, I’ll write my own complaints then,” Theo said. She quickly jotted down her thoughts, making sure the others couldn’t see it.
   As soon as she finished writing, the letter, along with the pen, vanished out of existence. 
   “What the…” said Dennis.
   “Guess that means the authors have taken the letter,” said Theo. She sat back on the edge of the coffee table. The others settled back into their seats, relaxing again. 
   “What now?” asked Wolfgang. 
   “I guess we just wait,” Charlie said.

   And wait they did.


Here's to hoping you had a good 2014, and to hoping you have a great 2015. Happy New Year!
- K (and G)

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

C.N. - chapter 81

I was surprised, but overjoyed, to be reunited with Theo. I mean, what were the chances that we ran in different directions on this monstrous submarine and still ended up in the same location? Either we were the luckiest people in the world or Mr. Dragon's submarine is so elaborately designed to always allow you to find the person you're looking for. If it was the second option, it would be fantastic because then Theo's grandfather should happen upon us any moment!
It turned out that the hatch leading to the main deck opened into yet another dim, deserted hallway. Dennis had been holding a pee for quite a while, so he went searching for the bathroom. As soon as his tiptoeing footsteps became swallowed up in the darkness, I heard the sniffling.
Then I heard a voice from behind one of the pressure-locked doors not far from where I stood.
'Theo? I that you?' I leaned against the door and whispered.
'Charlie?' That's definitely Theo's voice, 'Yeah, it's me.'
'We found each other!' I whispered excitedly.
There was a pause and some more sniffling. 'Looks like you found me.'
'I heard a sniffling. Are you having an allergic reaction?' I whispered intently, 'If you are, let's get you somewhere that's better ventilated.'
Another pause, followed by a muted chuckle, 'No...it's not that.'
'That's a relief.' I whispered.
There was some shuffling, and more quiet.
'You know, Theo,' I whispered, 'finding you just now made me think, and I've realized something. This may be the greatest lucky streak of my life, these past few days has been.'
'Hmm?' Theo sounded slightly incredulous, 'Why would you call this lucky?'
'From what I see, everything has worked out to our advantage so far. When Wolfgang kidnapped you so he could marry you, Heathcliff and I arrived just in time to crash your wedding-'
'Hey! That was not going to turn into a wedding, and it never would have either, regardless of whether you two showed up or not, so don't twist the facts!'
'Okay, got it,' I nodded, 'So it was lucky because Heathcliff and I came just in time to cause a major distraction so you could get away.'
There was silence. I think Theo was thinking, so I continued.
'And then, Mr. Dragon came along and interrupted Wolfgang's original plot, so you didn't have to marry him anyways.'
'For the last time I was NEVER going to marry him! Don't make me repeat it again!'
'Right, I'm sorry,' I continued, 'And when we all got caught by Mr. Dragon, he invited us over to his place for a sleepover! I don't think that's something terrorists normally do, so it's another addition to the streak. And then, at Mr. Dragon's place, you found Laura's diary, which caused an emotional confrontation between father and son, buying you just enough time for your backup to surround Mr. Dragon's place. And also, even though Wolfgang got shot, we got medical attention to him almost right away.' I was running out of fingers to count all the lucky things that happened, and still had a long way to go, 'When we got to your house, we found the secret passageway that revealed Mr. Dragon's location, and also where your grandfather was. We also flushed out Mr. Dragon's informant, who was your brother, unfortunately, but who's to say our luck won't continue and he'll rehabilitate? We then met Laura and her awesome ninja henchmen. Then Mr. Kent revealed himself to be another one of Mr. Dragon's informants! Now I'm sure there are no more informants in your family, because I can't possibly image an informant being any more sophisticated than Mr. Kent. And we got picked up by Mr. Dragon's submarine, just in time so we didn't freeze to death in the ocean. And we successfully treated your hypothermia. And we escaped from the brig on this sub. And it turned out your grandfather is on here with us all along and sabotaged the ship just in time so we could all get away from Mr. Dragon's henchmen. And now,' I paused to take a breath, 'Mr. Dragon's henchmen still haven't located any of us! Isn't that just miraculous? Things are working out in our favor the whole way through. It's always Mr. Dragon who got unlucky, all his plans were interrupted. We didn't even put that much effort into making plans, and we were rewarded instead. If anything, I have a feeling our luck will just continue.'
Theo paused for quite a while before she spoke, 'That's...an interesting way to see things, but don't you realize? I've had absolutely no control over anything that's happened to us over these last few days, I try but I just feel completely powerless! How am I supposed to know things will work out when these are things I have absolutely no control over!'
'But we can't control what happens to us,' I pointed out, 'only God can.'
Another long silence.
'I didn't know you're religious.' Theo said.
'I've been going to Sunday school since I was 3,' I said, 'they taught me some very good things, like how God takes care of me, and makes sure nothing ultimately bad ever happens to me, and how even if something bad happens, it will eventually work out in my favor, because God is always helping me out, even when I don't see it.'
'I don't know if I believe that.' Theo said.
'I do. It's just that we've been on a lucky streak for so long. There has to be a reason why we always have the upper-hand. Looks to me like God's cheering us on.'
I sat in the silence thinking about something to say next. I think Theo did the same.
'By the way, thank you.' I said.
'For what?' Theo asked.
'For being a strong, independent young woman.' I explained, 'My mum always said: Charles, if you meet a strong independent young woman, you gotta congratulate her, because it's people like that who are going to take charge of the world and make it better, without the influence of some man. Because men have been running this world for a long time and they're doing a mighty atrocious job of it. It's up to the strong, independent young women like you to change the world, and you can totally do it, because you believe in yourself. Also, my mum said it, so I lend you my full support, even though you might not need it, since I'm a boy.'
'What makes you think I'm a strong, independent young woman?'
'It's obvious, because you don't want to get married, that's the first sign of a strong, independent young woman in the making.'
I heard tiptoeing footsteps. A moment later, Dennis appeared from the darkness.
'You were gone a long time.' I whispered to him.
'It was a number 2.' Dennis shuddered, 'I think it was the bad turnips I ate yesterday. Why are you crouched beside that door?'
'It's incredible. I found Theo!'