Before I could accuse Heathcliff of totaling my car, we were surrounded by men carrying semi-automatics and a young man about my age (but looks to be a few years older facially), who I perceive to be the leader of these men, and before I could ask a question regarding the nature of my situation, Heathcliff began to accuse this young man of kidnapping Miss Theodora, and before this young man could compose a full reply, we were interrupted by who I perceive to be Miss Theodora North in a jaw-dropping stunning wedding dress (who did not look to be in a hostage situation, and if she was, she's handling it quite well I must say) and caused Heathcliff to have another seizure. And then, Theodora and the young man who I perceive to be the suitor who kidnapped her had a small conversation about Heathcliff, and before I could learn the name of this young man, Heathcliff recovered from his seizure and let loose another string of absurdities declaring his love for Miss Theodora (who by the way didn't look too relieved to see him), and then challenged the young man to a duel of pistols, 'let's settle this like men,' he said.
If I am correct, I believe the effects of the vodka he had consumed earlier had not left him, and the next thing I knew, they were standing a distance away from a round target, taking aim and blowing their shots at the disc. The young man's men stood to the side, their gazes fixed on the target as Heathcliff and their leader struck several fifty pointers, but no bull's eye yet.
I saw Miss Theodora standing away from the shoot, near the gaping hole in the doors that Heathcliff had created, and I too went over, with the thoughts to introduce myself and find out a bearing of this bizarre situation.
I could see why Heathcliff fell so madly for Miss Theodora, she is radiant, vastly comparable to Nicole Kidman; there is not only beauty in her appearance, which is matched by intelligence, and something I can't put a name to, maybe worldliness? Didn't know what that meant but it seemed fit. I looked on the shooting in the meantime.
I was at a loss for words, not because I had nothing to say, or ask, more specifically, which puzzled me.
When I looked to where she was standing, Miss Theodora was gone, I looked towards the hole in the wall just to see her go out of it. I looked back at the shooting game, both the young man and Heathcliff were occupied by the target (still no bull's eye). I made the decision to follow Miss Theodora, as no one was looking my way.
There was a sports car in the parking lot, which Heathcliff and I missed sighting when we first pulled in, and Miss Theodora was walking towards it with the looks of the intent of driving away in it.
I spoke, raising my hand like in elementary school, 'hey, um, need some help there?'
She turned around and exclaimed, 'Of course I do! I'm going to get as far away from this house of buffoons as possible, what could I be doing? And if you're sane, you ought to come along.'
'Um...' I said.
'Um what?! It's a relief that you've come quickly enough, now don't lose your gained time and help me here!'
If I guessed correctly, I think Miss Theodora was more annoyed if anything about getting 'kidnapped' by the son of an infamous terrorist and then 'rescued' by her Prince Charming childhood friend. After this thought, I didn't know where to go from there.
'Um...' I still didn't know what to say.
Theodora walked to the yellow and black sports car and pulled at the handle, it's unlocked. And then she inspected the interior of the car, and yelled, 'Darn!' Her head reappeared from beneath the hood and she looked back at me. 'Make yourself helpful, can you pick an ignition a lock?'
I made the action to fish a paper clip out of my pocket, which wasn't there because I was wearing those black dress pants Heathcliff insisted I wear, so I held up a pin from my suit (now dusty) and said, 'Are those locks just like tractor ignitions?'
Back when I was younger and living on dad's farm, he was forgetful, so after plowing a field one day he'd forget where he had put the tractor keys, and since he's too lazy to try to remember where the keys went or search for them, he learned how to pick tractor ignition locks and taught me too (and then he forgot it on purpose because his son now know the craft and can substitute for his old man). After that, every time he misplaced the keys, he got me to start the tractor ignition with a paper clip.
I didn't get to tell that story to Theodora after I got the car started with the pin (it took about thirty seconds), because she jumped in immediately when she heard the engine roar to life, ignoring the well-being of the dress, and pulled me into the shotgun seat. 'Thanks a dozen!' She yelled, giving me a punch in the shoulder, and began to back the car shakily out of the lot, and towards the main entrances.
The men with guns in the warehouse must have heard this, because they came running out and took aim at us with their weapons. Then, their affirmed leader, the young man came running out of the hole in the dock doors too, waving his arms, probably a signal to cease fire. And then, a portion of the dock doors to the left of the first hole disintegrated and a forklift truck came crashing through, helmed by no other than Heathcliff, his face locked in a priceless expression of self-realized heroism.
The forklift sped up and the young man's men dodged out of the way as it came speeding after us. By then Theodora had cleared the entrance to the warehouse compound and was speeding towards the central docks, Heathcliff's forklift cleared the entrance a few moments later, followed by the young man's men on motorcycles, the young man riding in a sidecar on one of them. These vehicles all chased after one or another along the dock road, speeding towards the canal draw bridge. If you can not visualize this image, just think the subway chase from The French Connection combined with the motorcycle chase from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade with a forklift between them. I was surprised the forklift could travel that fast.
I looked back at Heathcliff, who was struggling to gain on us, I waved and yelled, 'Just one moment!' and then I asked Theodora, 'Um...Miss? Should you slow down a bit so your friend of long-time-no-see can catch up to us?'
Theodora was careening left and right to avoid incoming cars, as she was driving in the lane of the opposite direction, she turned back to look at the forklift behind us. 'Oh bother!' She did a facepalm before directing her vision back to the front just in time to narrowly miss an incoming truck.
When I looked back again, I was surprised to see Heathcliff only a five meter distance behind our car. I rolled down a window. He was shouting, 'Wait for me!'
I wasn't at the wheel, so I asked Theodora with mild awkwardness, 'We're not leaving him behind, right?' Just as I said this, motorcycles emerged from the midst of vehicles about a hundred meters behind the forklift, one of them with a sidecar. Someone fired a shot and it struck the forklift, producing a 'ding'.
'I wish!' Theodora replied, she braked and then the forklift caught up beside us.
'My love! Me coming to the rescue, that was quite spectacular, what I did, was it not?' Heathcliff called out, and winked. Another round of bullets struck the forklift to no effect.
'It was plainly stupid!' Theodora yelled back.
'Heroic deeds may appear irrational, but never is the hero's heart untrue to these heroic deeds, and that's what counts.' Heathcliff said reassuringly.
'So you've not learned any more sense since the last I've seen of you.' Theodora sighed.
'Sidekick (referring to me)! Make room and open that door, I shall leap!' Heathcliff shouted, adrenaline in his voice.
'Oh no, not this stunt again.' Theodora facepalmed.
'What? You'll die!' I exclaimed as I moved to the back seat and opened the door on my side as wide as I could, I did not know why I followed his insane commands.
With one foot still on the gas pedal of the forklift, Heathcliff prepared to cover the meter distance in flight from the forklift into the open door of the sports car. Theodora did her best so the vehicles stayed at level.
'One, two three, four, five, six...' Heathcliff began counting and breathing in rapidly.
'When are you jumping?' I shouted.
'Random number!' Heathcliff screamed and leaped. The leap was too high and the ambition too great. He landed onto the hood of the car, there was a thumping sound, he dented the section right above my head, and I presume he grabbed for dear life. The forklift fell away form the road and crashed into a fence.
Just then, I looked back to see the convoy of motorcycles and one sidecar pushing the other cars off the road and into the ditches, gaining by the second. And then, inexplicably, a long, black car shot out of a side road without warning behind us, cutting off the entire width of the road, the motorcycles all T-boned into the side of that car and I was spared of the sight at the other side of the vehicle.
Sometime later, Theodora let the car slow down so Heathcliff could climb off the hood and into the car beside me through a window, he made the motion to kiss Theodora, and she ducked away.
'Don't you ever try that again you idiot!' She gave his a swat on the head.
'Brilliant driving, my darling!' Heathcliff began, he didn't finish because the car was suddenly lifted from the ground, swinging from side to side, and commenced flying.
I screamed, Heathcliff screamed, Theodora screamed. We all screamed.
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