C. N. - chapter 4

I wasn't sure how much I should gave the porter, so I asked him, 'How much should I tip you?' I didn't want to give him the impression that just because I come from a middle-class family, that all middle-class families are stingy non-tipping cheapskates. As for the mix-up with the suites, well, I'll settle that later.
The porter looked at me strangely, 'Hey dude, I don't mean any disrespect but for a billionaire, you sure are a fob. I mean, are all billionaires sheltered like you these days?'
I was taken aback, for two reasons, I don't know what a fob is, and I'm pretty sure my ancestry for the past several centuries since the colonial ages have been farmers and later mechanics. I'm no millionaire, let alone a billionaire (unless he's referring to my sister, who is sort of a millionaire, but does dumb luck count? I don't know). 'Quite frankly, I'm not a billionaire, unless you...'
'Okay, okay, fob, stop talking, I know your well-to-do parents taught you to be humble and all that cal but I don't give two cents about that, just give me your credit card and I'll swipe off a twenty, just 'cause I'm generous, okay?'
'Um, I don't carry a credit card, I do have twenty, I think, but not a twenty dollar bill, do you want that?' I couldn't understand this guy, I mean, he talks dealings like  a professional tradesman twenty years into his craft and he's not older than me by three years.
'Are you for real?' He said, not asked.
'I'll show you,' I pulled out my small wallet, got down on one knee, and dumped a weight of coins onto the carpet, I started to count for twenty dollars. While I'm doing this, the porter did a facepalm for some reason.
'You need lessons on how to be a billionaire, seriously. Forget it, keep the twenty. I pity you, you know, I really do.' He turned around and left. That left me confused, things were a lot simpler in the country.
The key to the suite was fashioned around a strap that has some letters engraved onto it on gold, it said 'North' in cursive (which I took a bit of time to decipher). I turned the key into the lock and the double doors opened to reveal a hotel room that I could tell does not charge five thousand a night, by the looks of it, it probably charges a million dollars a night! The 3D high definition TV screen covers an entire wall (imagine watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on that one), the patio outside overlooks the whole length of the coastline until they dip away from view, there are three living room sized bedrooms, a what I would call a grand bathroom with a bathtub the size of a four-wheel drive, and the white tiles are so shiny I stared into a perfect reflection of myself (not too shabby looking wither). There was a plain white card on the dark wooden dining room table (by the way it's the size of three ping pong tables), I opened it and there were more cursive writing, it looked to be hand written in gold ink too.
It said, 'Dear Theo, I hope you are happy with this temporary lodging, I've arranged everything and you don't have to worry about a detail, everything to your preference. Sadly, there is urgent business to be dealt with in my position here, so I may not be able to see you for quite some time, and as the mansion is under renovation, make yourself at home here, it is the best hotel in the city. I also understand you are looking for some 'alone time', I clearly overdid the suitor thing and I apologize; I promise, there will be no visitors for you unless of the most absolute importance. Love, You Know Who! (Ha, ha! Get it?)'
I didn't understand the letter completely, and I didn't know who Theo is, so I kept the letter where it was on the table and thought a bit. I looked around the suite and at the giant TV, the desire to stay there was swelling up faster than a sun about to unleash a supernova, I really wanted to watch that TV, and try out that fluffy bed, and check out that bathtub!
Finally, I concluded that the recipient of the strange card was supposed to have arrived at the hotel some time ago, since the letter was dated two days ago, and it looked like Theo, probably Theo North, wasn't coming. The receptionist had checked off my name downstairs indicating that I've arrived, not Theo North...and there's not going to be any visitors, at the strange card promises...this unnoticed mix up landed me in a million dollar hotel suite!
I felt as happy as my sister when she crashed through our apartment door screaming that she won ten million dollars, I danced on the dining room table right there. I mean, what are the odds that both us North siblings get this lucky?
Just then, I heard a beeping sound emitting from the den, I went to investigate and found an antique fax machine on a wooden working table, spewing out a slip of paper.