C.N. - chapter 6

The fax machine jammed as the first half of a slip of paper was being ejected, and it wouldn't go out further (that proved antique does not mean quality, granddad would have said), I tore off what came out and read, the note from the fax machine said:
'kidnapped, held hostage, warehouse, on the waterfront, men in black with guns everywhere, mastermind seems to be some person named the tiger...'
And the rest of the message was torn off. I read it over again. The only phrase I recognized was On the Waterfront, which is the name of a Marlon Brando movie, I guess the fax was spilling out a list of movies for some reason I did not thing twice about (some of them are pretty terrible titles, I must admit), I should check them out later, so I put the paper on the table and bolted off, eager to explore the rest of the suite.

During my second hour there, I explored the entire suite, sat in the tanning chair out in the patio for some time, and ate some sweets the refrigerator was stocked full of. I read on a label from a package of gummy bears that the candies contain 20 percent real fruit juice with 10 different flavors (never had or heard of such exotic gummy bears), and it actually does! Most amazing moment I've ever had with gummy bears, I finished off 9 packs of it and rung the room service for another 9 packs. The porter who carried my single bag (which I've yet to open, the suite already had everything I need, including four pairs of ironed suits I suppose were prepared for Theo) and who had called me a fob came to deliver 9 packs of gummy bears on a platter.
The first moment I saw him, I seized it and asked him, 'If you don't mind me asking, what's a fob?'
The porter looked at me in a funny way, sometimes in the country two people get into a brawl if one person looks at someone else in a funny way, but I've never fought anyone for looking at me in a funny way, so I wasn't sure how to respond to that look. After some puzzling moments, he said, 'Listen buddy, you really have no clue, do you?'
'What clue?' I asked.
He gave over the platter with the packages of gummy bears on it without another word, I received it and decided to try a different approach. 'Should I tip you?' I asked.
'Ugh! Stop asking all those stupid questions! It's not funny to abuse the porter like this!' The porter shouted.
'I'm not asking stupid questions!' I said, 'I'm asking perfectly logical questions, and if you ask me, I think I'm also being rather polite with you, who, on the other hand, is not in return.' I was becoming annoyed at the porter too, maybe this was the sign that a fight shall take place.
'Don't you get it! You freaking fob! You're not supposed to ask me whether I was a tip or not! You're not supposed to speak to the porter! You're supposed to be way too high on the social ladder for all that converse with lowly servants like me! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO IGNORE ME!' The porter was spitting and shouting and I thought he was going to burst a vein in the head.
'I still don't get it, I read in the Holy Book from where I come from that I should treat others as I wish to be treated, it's the Golden Rule, I mean, I can't be sure whether you want a tip or not, maybe you do because you haven't gotten enough today and your pay cheque is lousy, or maybe you don't want a tip from me because you've already collected enough for today. I want to give you what you want, or nothing, if you don't want anything.' This did not comfort the porter.
'THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK! You should know that! You're a billionaire, a heir to one of the world's largest, most powerful enterprises of the entire freaking world! You are a god (or at least a demigod)! And, and you act like a total fob who may have forgotten who he really is! This is humiliating!' The porter shouted, breathing loudly.
I didn't know what to say, so I tried to start a new topic, 'So um, what's your name, mate?' I extended a hand for him to shake.
'AH!' The porter screamed and ran, banged his body on the doors of the nearest elevator, which opened with a ding, and he ran inside, the doors slid shut, and he was gone. I still didn't find out what a fob is.
To clear up my mind from all this confusion I was subjected to, I decided to try out the bathtub.

I filled up the tub to the brim and I was soaked in hot water, reading some superman comic books I brought in my suitcase, with a towel wrapped around my head when a guy wearing some kind of white suit with golden collars, holding a walking stick in one hand and a bundle of roses in the other, and looking freshly groomed walked in and screamed. I wasn't able to see him very well because of the steam, and moreover because I was screaming along with him in the next second and in a mad dash for the exit.