C.N. - chapter 71

I was just finished giving a detailed summary of the plot of Kingdom of Heaven, Director's Cut when the alarm in the flyasaurus blared from the cockpit. Everyone's attention turned to the control panel, which seemed to have malfunctioned, because most of the indicator lights were flashing on and off, some had already gone dim altogether.
Darn, I thought, I was just getting to the good part where I would explain how Kingdom of Heaven is very relatable to what Wolfgang went through in the past day. It looked like I had to put the explanation off until later.
'So what's up with auto-pilot, John?' Graham leaned over John's shoulders and asked. John was in the pilot chair, one hand pressing the panel's button instruments furiously, the other hand shaking the throttle like mad.
'Auto's dead,' John replied, 'And I can't get the ship back to manual piloting.'
'What do you mean auto-pilot's dead?' Graham shouted indignantly.
'The computer system manning auto-pilot, it got breached by a virus, and the virus is killing the system, that's what I mean!' John shouted even more indignantly.
'A virus? When the hell did the system get breached by a virus?'
'Just now!'
'What the fuck?'
'What the fuck indeed, this is a total clusterfuck!'
'Calm down there, you two,' Laura got over to John too. With three people crammed in the cockpit, I could no longer see the control panel. 'So what exactly is the virus doing?'
'It entered the ships's computer just now, corrupted the auto-pilot system, and made it impossible for us to switch back to manual controls.' John said.
'What about the firewall, the ship's computer came with a firewall, right?' Laura said.
'There is a firewall, but we haven't installed it.'
Laura's eyes narrowed, 'And why not?' She said.
'This machine is a test prototype, remember? It wasn't supposed to be ready until next year, until this recent turn of events forced us to take this out of the garage early. So yes, not all of the features on the blueprint are installed in the ship yet.'
'Yeah, even the coffee machine isn't installed.' Terry said. The other Terry nodded.
'See Michael, the bullet-proof glass thing wasn't my fault, this baby isn't supposed to fly until next year.' Eric said triumphantly.
'Aw will you drop it with the bullet-proof glass shenanigan?' Michael snapped.
'Just making my point, Michael.' Eric replied, smug in the face.
'Gentleman, I believe we have more pressing matters at hand,' Laura turned to the the rest of us and said, 'The ship can't fly for much longer, we'll have to make a forced landing.'
'Over water?' Heathcliff exclaimed, horrified.
'Yes, we're miles from mainland.'
'But-but I can't swim!' Heathcliff protested.
'I'll help you, it will be a pleasure to save Prince Charming from drowning.' Wolfgang said. I was happy that Wolfgang seemed to be back to his old self - the self I first encountered with Heathcliff in the warehouse.
'I don't need your help! I still haven't forgiven you for kidnapping my dear Theo, don't you forget it!' Heathcliff declared with indignation. Heathcliff was back to his old self too - the one I first encountered in the penthouse suite.
'Well Theo,' Terry said, with his eyes on Wolfgang and Heathcliff in their
heated argument, 'seeing these guys, I can't blame you for avoiding your suitors.'
'Totally.' The other Terry said.
'Hello? We're in a dire situation here!' John yelled from the cockpit, 'Is nobody except me scared shitless?'
'I am!' said Heathcliff, 'I don't know how to swim.'
'No, not because of that.' John said, 'I'm asking, is nobody except me scared shitless, because it seems I've been taken hostage, by Mr. Kent here.'
Sure enough, Mr. Kent was at the cockpit, with a gun pointed at the back of John's neck. Graham was no longer there, he had gone to the back to prepare the inflatable raft device on the flyasaurus.
'Exactly,' Mr. Kent said, in that cool-as-a-cucumber voice so reminiscent of Mr. Dragon's when he took me hostage at his compound, 'Now if you may all focus your attention on me, I have a few orders to give out.'