C. N. - chapter 1

My co-author had already written the introduction, so I will jump right in with the beginning.

I got out of my car, an old car that makes farting noises at a five star hotel, between two limousines. I must say, even the parking lot impressed me, (it's air-conditioned!) the walls are not dark concrete gray like every other underground parking lot, it's all mosaic made of multicolored tiles each two centimeters thick (I measured), the kind of mosaic the Romans must have taken two centuries to complete back in their day. The only downside is that I have no clue what the mosaic is depicting, it looks like something Picasso would have done if he were a Roman, but I've never seen an actual Picasso, so I guess that judgment is undermined.
I locked the car with an old key that my sister had given me along with the car. The only reason why I'm here (in this five star parking lot, about to enter a five star hotel for the first time in my life) is because of her. She won the ten million dollar prize lottery a week ago, and now she's in the Bahamas, tanning with some guy with a six pack and abs the size of papayas by day, and I-don't-want-to-imagine-what by night, and me? She forked over a portion of that ten million in cash to me, her little sibling, as payment for doing all of her homework back when we were in grade school, and for every other act of kindness I gave her. It's not that I'm ungrateful, but I think this lottery share is way overdue. At least I can enjoy something for a little while now, knowing that my sister is not a complete selfish...you know what I mean.
I took a staircase to the lobby, and like the parking lot it impressed me so (the stairs are carpeted!), I still found it hard to believe that I was staying at a five star hotel. With the cash my sister had given me, I had enough to book a month's stay in a one-bedroom, so I was told, and I did. I picked this hotel because it is on the seaside, and also because it happened to be the only five star hotel I know, I'm not kidding.

I should probably do a better job describing the rest of the magnificent five star hotel, but honestly, I ran out of words. In brief, there were a lot of chandeliers, carpet, and felt sofas, and a lot of the front desks seem to have golden counters, I had a little trouble finding where I should register at. Fast forward a little bit.

'Excuse me, um, I have a room booked, the name is North.' I said to one of the receptionists, a friendly looking fellow with curly hair, tight suit, and stiff posture.
'North it is,' he said, checking a catalog, 'Ah, here we go, T. North? Theo North, is it?'
'Oh, um, it's Charlie, Charlie North actually.' I said. I was surprised, there's more than one North family in the world, all my life I sure haven't met one.
'Alright, sorry for the mistake, I mean, how many Norths can there be?' The guy gave me a smile and handed me the key. 'Penthouse suite, top floor, welcome to our hotel.'
If I had listened to that last sentence, I might have found something odd about it, I mean, a penthouse couldn't be five thousand a night, right? I didn't pay any attention in the end, I wanted to get into my suite and enjoy it as quickly as my small suitcase doesn't slow me down. It's my first vacation alone, after all.

I was seriously taken aback when a guy came up and started carrying my suitcase towards one of the elevators, I followed him. The elevator ride was a long one, and I just stared around, taking everything in. I'd say I was able to get comfortable with about ten percent of what I saw. In all honesty, I had little knowledge that enough money could buy time in this kind of place.
The guy carrying my luggage stopped at my door, a double door. By now I realized there had been a mistake (the elevator ride was too long, wasn't it?), so I said, 'Hey, um, I think there's been a mistake, I don't think I booked this suite.'
The guy just looked at me and shrugged, 'Come on, how many Norths are there in this world? Now are you gonna tip me well for coming up all this way or are you just gonna stand there like a hick coming into town for the first time?'